Meevy

How do you develop new friendships? Friendships develop slowly and take time. The first thing is to identify the right person. We won’t build friendship with anyone who comes across us. We select a person after examining the character, behavior, adjustability etc that would suite our own selves. There needs to be something in the other person that we need to admire. The admiration may not necessarily be physical but rather be their obedience, self discipline, an authority over a particular skill or something like that. This admiration develops an urge to know more about the other person. Thus everyone identifies their own friends. This is the first stage of a long lasting journey of togetherness.

So we identified now. The person is so and so. What should we do next? We need to approach them. You need not have anything to approach. Ask them a trivial question. You will be amazed when you get answers for you question. With the amazement you may also be surprised to notice a set of new characteristics of that person you never assumed that the other person processed. You might even consider those characteristics bad as your own policy. You will record this in your mind. The days roll by. The plus and the minus points of the other person get recorded in your mindset. You start to learn what makes them angry and what makes them kind. You find reasons for their plus and minus points. This is the learning process. You start to understand a character other than yourself and start to accept or adjust with your friend. This stage builds a strong bondage between you and your friend. This stage is the longest period. For some people it takes 4 months, 4 years or even more than that. You will enjoy every bit of this stage as true friendship starts to flourish now and then which you can see in your day to day life between you and your friend.

The third stage is a different kind. There seems to be an unexpected thing happening. It is called separation. It’s not a must that separation will happen in your life. But for some people it happens. What really happens is that things crumble and the great walls of trustworthiness, regard and understanding that you built with great pains smashes into a pile of wastage. What you do? Sit and watch. That’s all. You can’t do anything. Things happen just like that. You can’t reimburse the energy and time spent for building a great friendship. When things go against your wishes nothing can be done. The only thing you can get least assured is that not all relationships or friendships end up with a sad note. Friendship for some people lasts even for a lifetime though.